Career Vision Board

As I said in last week's post, while at Kripalu, I took several workshops; among them, one that was about following your dreams and another that included making a vision board. I have been all over working on the dream journal this week and decided to make a vision board about what I said I would do if I could do anything without the possibility of failure. What I said in that group was an idea that came to me as part of a project in my expressive therapy and social action class. It's funny, because it was my last class of grad school, an elective, so my main goal was getting my three credits and moving on with a shiny new degree. But the organization I made up, has stuck in the back of my brain, just kinda drifting around someplace near the occipital lobe. Just chillin', wandering to the front every now and then, saying hi. You know how it is.

So, what I imagined was a holistic center with office space for therapists, body workers, physical therapists, etc. who share a common goal of using the whole body and mind to create wellness. This place would be open to the community and offer yoga classes and expressive therapy groups of all kinds, depending on need, in addition to having individuals who do their own thing to help others, renting space in the upper floor or floors of the building. I want to create and work in that place someday.

So I made a vision board about it. It looks like this.

Making this has made me really excited about that idea. As I am driving to work, I imagine groups I would want to offer the community, exhibits we could have, benefits I would give people who were a part of the process. And I feel happy. In a way, this is not a plan that I ever considered impossible, because I invested my inheritance with this in mind someday. However, as I cut out words and images and simply collaged about it, it started to feel more real and possible. Although this idea has been with me for almost two years, I have officially transfer it to my seven-year career plan. This is what I am working toward.

For more about vision boards go here.

 

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Yoga Retreat

Last week I went to Kripalu for an R&R Yoga Retreat with Mallory. In addition to delicious organic vegetarian meals and plenty of yoga, we had a choice of several workshops each day and some of them felt like being in the best part of grad school again: drum circles, collage, medicine and movement... Good times.

One of the workshops we went to was called "Realize Your Dreams" (I think). First we were asked if we could do one thing and were guaranteed we would not fail, what would it be and we announced it to the room full of fellow traveler strangers on R&R retreats, which was super uncomfortable for me, but has gotten me thinking more about what I told everyone. Then we were given a handout with a list of categories for a dream journal and asked to think of goals for each area. The list is as follows:

physical

emotional

spiritual

material

creative

legacy

professional

intellectual

psychological

financial

adventure

character

A part of me was really excited about the idea and the other part of me was like, "Stop it! How many goals and projects can you juggle? You got enough going on already," but I just can't say no and couldn't stop thinking what I would do with dreams in a journal. I can even rationalize, because I have goals in most of this areas already. It's just organization and format really. Right? So after a couple of days of thinking about it and telling myself no and trying to thought block ideas for taking on another project, told myself yes and went to Michael's and bought a Smash Book to act as my dream journal/scrap book.

It has always surprised me that I am not a scrapbook person, because I love taking photos and I love working with paper. For the first page, I glued down an envelop and I am making simple cards with collage images and goals. I will work on each of the pages with details regarding each of the goals. This is what I have so far.

I am pretty stoked about it. And... I am still keeping up on my daily calendar modifications, so so far so good. This is a fun idea and it has created a sense of positivity and feeling like all I reach for is possible. Maybe so possible, I might someday tell you what I said I would do if I could not fail.

 

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Hey, I'm Back!

Life's been busy and it has been hard to get much art done, let alone blog about it, so my mission as of late has been to find time to fit creativity into my life.  Now that I have somewhat of a delicate grasp on that, I want to take a moment to tell you about it.

In addition to studying for the licensure exam, teaching yoga (including a new hybrid Yoga for Athletes class that I started from scratch), taking on new certifications in Piyo, Turbokick and starting AFAA certification, I have also completed a full marathon.  It sucked.  Doing a training run for a marathon, takes a whole day out of one's schedule, at least for me.  It seemed for awhile, I had to be all about the physical when I wasn't actually in work working.  Now, I have resolved myself to the half-marathon, which allows me to have more of my life back, thank you very much.  But I still need to train and training takes time.  Both worlds started to collide once I started packing my phone for training runs.  I have been photographing where I run.  It slowed me down, and it's hard to take photos on a phone outside while one is trying to stay at a certain pace, but it felt good.

This is a view from one of the bike paths I like, taken on my iPhone.

Taking pictures, even hastily, using the instagram app, made my runs enjoyable and made me feel more creative, so I started drawing in my sketchbook again.

This is a spread from my journal.  The right side is based on that image.

This is from a park in the city where I run sometimes, taken on my iPhone.

A couple of drawings that sprung from that run.

A gift I made based on the drawings.

Drawing is not my forte, but it feels good.  It's transportable, requires very little expense and slows down my thought process so that everything happening in my world and racing around my head can be observed and make more sense.  It's a kind of meditation.

I feel good.  More has come from running.  I will tell you about that next week!

Rapping with Teens

This past week was rather casual around my workplace, because my guys were on "vacation." Since I work for a residential treatment program, that means they were at the residence, rather than the school where I have an office. Although I went to the residence as usual during the week, I gave my guys the freedom to meet with me or not, work on something or not and since there was no school, we didn't have any groups. 

When I arrived one day, one of my guys had created a positive rap about himself and the program to share with me. Since we have started working on a video for groups, I gave my guys the option of filming something during their vacation and I encouraged this boy to use his rap as his video to share with the group. The guys I work with have "developmental delays."  This translates into several difficulties, including being a few years behind grade level. Reading and writing is often a big struggle for many of my guys. Writing a rap is an advanced skill with my kids; reading, memorizing, presenting it could be even more tricky. So, here's what we did: we went over each line and I had him practice and repeat, choose an appropriate space, camera angle and movement and we filmed it one line at a time, so he sounded his best with each line. I think we created something he can be proud of. Plus, it is a positive reminder to stay on track in his own words.

Coincidentally, one of my other guys wanted to write a rap with me. He rapped and I wrote. He was so proud of his work and showed all of the staff his rap collection. I photocopied his work and I am thinking about helping him make something with his rap hits like a book or c.d. Any creative ideas for translating written word to another art form?

As for my own goals and self-care. My book of the week is Art and Yoga by Hari Kirin Kaur Khalsa and I have been doing a simple DVD practice at home from Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga along with listening to the lecture. Both are highly recommended. Here is some fast art in response to my practice.

Chakras, watercolor

 

Silence, watercolor

Blog Restart and Updates

One of this year's birthday resolutions was to blog every Sunday and three weeks later, I am making that happen for the first time. One of the tough things about starting over on this blog is organizing my thoughts and having a coherent topic, so screw that. Here are some random updates.

First of all, as my graduation gift to myself, I went to Kripalu for an Art and Yoga Teacher Training with Hari Kirin Kaur Khalsa, which was fantastic. I was initially intimidated by the traditionalness of Kundalini Yoga, but Hari Kirin has a certain glow or an aura or something of welcome and kindness and I loved it: chanting, meditating, yogaing (kundalini is really hard, by the way), singing (!!!) and art-making. On the last day we made our 40 day art and yoga plan which I have tried and often slacked on, but it is in my heart and I will keep working at making art and yoga a regular part of everyday. Expect to read more about this. Here is some artwork...

Painting from the workshop: "A New Relationship"

From my Art and Yoga Sketchbook

Watercolor after a yoga - run - yoga - meditation combo

My art life has been slacking recently and my physical life has been intense. There was a time before grad school that I was pretty hardcore into my physical life and that must be some sort of natural part of who I am, because now that I have the time, it's back. I am training for a half marathon and a trapeze show! Yes, a trapeze show! I am the least experienced person in it, so I feel compelled to work extra hard to get things as right as possible and not look like a big goober. This is not quite getting things right, but it is so fun and freeing and I cannot get enough of swinging and flying. This is my idea of self-care.

 

Back End Straddle

Work continues to go well. I've had some learning opportunities and successes to share in future posts. Currently, my guys are working on a strengths-based film. We just started, but they seem pretty interested so far, as is my director, so I hope that intervention goes well... More on that later.

I made my resolutions for this year of my life and the list is ridiculous!!! I was looking at past lists and I normally hit almost all my goals each year. I am okay with having intentions that aren't quite reachable, because even if I only get to 50%, I'm still growing. Even as I write this, I am trying to decide how much I should make my goals public, because it's a pretty demanding list I have created.

Alright, this is the gist:
1. Keep space neat.
2. Be proactive about getting things done on time.
3. Organize the basement (I'm still working on that studio space and it is in bad shape right now).
4. Take counseling exam.
5. DBT training (if I can afford it; work doesn't pay for trainings they don't provide).
6. Read at least 20 of the books I own.
7. Practice yoga at least 6 days per week.
8. Get job teaching yoga again.
9. Run 20 miles per week.
10. Art (visual, music or writing) daily.
11. Fly unassisted.
12. Develop a budget.
13. Pay off my credit card.
14. Clean up my etsy shop and try harder to sell stuff.
15. Donate an afghan in my mom's honor.
16. Write in my blog every Sunday.

This was my birthday list and I am making progress so far and feeling good about hacking away at this thing.

If you got this far, thanks for reading my update. Next time I hope to make the post more relevant to art therapy. Please stay tuned.

A New Art Journal Begins

For the past several weeks I have intended to be intentional about artistic processing, but that's only been going on in my mind... briefly. Who is this working person who works? Who comes home and sits around? Who feels tired at zumba class, tired at yoga class, tired at Michael's and Joann Fabrics and Ultrecht? This person who works and sits right here in this very seat and sleeps down the hall a few feet away? How quickly routine can make one boring.

Well, maybe it's not routine. I think it's an unbalanced routine. It's the all-work-and-no-play routine. I am a few weeks into a job and missing the routine of past jobs when I included other events in my life rather than being consumed (but happy, make no mistake) at work and then feeling too tired to care about anything else. It's summer and summer is far too brief where I live. It needs to be celebrated, nay worshiped,  before one must wrap oneself away and huddle in front of a space heater for what feels like eternity.

Therefore, this week's artistic processing is about all the things that should be growing in my garden, so to speak. It's intentionally simple, because I just wanted to figure out what is important to me and what fits. After this stage, I also wrote on it, because that is how I roll when I am processing, but that's sorta private, so I leave you to guess what everything represents. I'm not sure what to call it yet.

Also, I have a new "art journal." It's in the form of a little binder so if ever I feel the need to make an artistic response in the moment while working with someone, I can just have one sheet at a time, so I can honor the person I am with and not have all this other stuff connected to it. Plus, adolescents are pretty into getting all up in one's business and having a book of drawings may result in requests to exhibit said book of drawings. Artistic responses may be therapeutic on occasion, whipping out all my business however, not so much.

20 Things I Did in 1 Week of Unemployment

(Or Welcome to My Neurosis)

1. On the first day, I decided I would spend the week wasting time, so I watched a netflix documentary, Dark Days (It was alright) and started reading the novel A Visit from the Goon Squad (also alright). I wore pajamas or a pajama-like outfit all day. I became aware that I might identify quite strongly with what I do, because I hated every second of this relaxation and felt like a schmuck (side note, I have not been officially unemployed since age 15). So, for the following days...

2. I made almost 30 artist trading cards using various techniques.

3. I decided to host a trading card swap with the theme "octopi."

4. I couldn't stand trying to relax and wait to job search anymore and resolved to send out 4 resumes per day before allowing myself to shower or get dressed.

5. After 1.5 days, I ran out of jobs I wanted, so now I just send to every new appropriate listing every morning and due to the holiday (I hope) it has been slim.

6. I worked in my yard: trimmed hedges, reseeded grass, planted flowers, planted seeds, planted an apple tree, mowed the lawn twice and removed a stump.

7. I "taught" my dogs to swim.

8. I made thank you cards for people I need to thank regarding graduation gifts. They look something like this:

They haven't been mailed yet though, because I don't have envelopes. That's on my list of to-dos today.

9. I started to clean my basement studio again, because it became a disaster since I last mentioned it.

10. I bought more $1 socks to use for creature-making. I also decided to try a sock idea I've had in mind for awhile, but it's really elaborate for socks, so I haven't wanted to go much further than imagining myself doing it yet.

11. I wondered if I should have been a social worker instead.

12. I spent $240 on the study guide for the LMHC exam (which is possibly the all time biggest waste of my money, because it is a stack of photocopies that appears to have been made and bound at Kinkos -- I just better kick-ass after studying it for 6 months is all I have to say).

13. I started working on a new sketchbook which I purchased from the Art House Co-op to go in the Sketch Book 2012 tour, because what do I need with all these journals and sketchbooks for anyway? I chose the theme, "Ask me how I can help," because it seemed most relevant to this period of my life. I am rebinding it with pages torn out of a children's anthology of stories. A blank spread looks like this:

The spread I am working on looks like this:

It opens horizontally. I plan to sew the pages in when it's complete.

14. I planned out reopening my etsy shop in my head.

15. I started reading Existential Art Therapy: The Canvas Mirror by Bruce Moon.

16. I printed the application for the LMHC exam.

17. I drove around with my top down.

18. I thought about what sort of artist I am and began to contemplate combining media (sewing and photography/print-making).

19. I contemplated researching book-binding techniques. Maybe that's a natural fit.

20. I got an appointment for my first interview and instantly felt a little better about not being a social worker!

This first interview is for working with adolescent boys, so in my next 2 posts, I plan to tell you what I have learned about working with adolescents and how I prepare for an interview. I am hoping to write something relevant for my fellow rookies.

Now That I am Graduated...

... it's time to reassess what the heck I am doing with my life. It's in these transitory moments that we may find ourselves saying to ourselves, "What's the plan Stan?"

Of course, the job search is beginning and I know exactly where I want to work and with whom, but whether or not that will happen isn't entirely in my hands. I'm choosing to pursue it full force anyway and investigate other options while waiting.

But there is more to graduating than finding a job I think. I'm also changing a way of life. I just got my spare time handed back to me along with that graduation leather-bound certificate that says, "your degree is in the mail sucker." It's like I got a new life back or a change in identity. It's weird. I'm inspired and confused by all this new time on my hands. So, first I checked my old resolution post and realized I'm missing a few things on the list that I will get to. No problem; that's easy, ready-made. The harder task is I need to replace my big-picture goal now that the degree thing is off the list. I have that degree. I will have that job, but I am not content without my eye on a distant prize. I'm not one to go for the hocus pocus, but in that single sense, I am a true Sagittarius, always aiming someplace. I have a hard time walking around without an arrow pointed.

One of the recent yoga class explorations has been "the false self." People define themselves by what they do, who they love, what they own, what others think of them... etc. but the true self is tat tvam asi. As a westerner, I have a hard time with just this, so I'm going with I am what I dream. I am where I point my arrow. Philosophically, I know that can get me into trouble, but watch how much I care... as in not at all.

This post is boring and self-centered, probably better for my private journal, but I'm posting it anyway for two reasons. The first is that I am more organized with my thoughts if someone else reads them and the second is that putting it out there makes me more responsible for my ambition. My brother was recently talking to me about keeping a dream board, which sounds like a The Secret sort of thing, which I think is pretty lame, but the dream board is a little bit genius.

It works like this, you write down your dreams where you can see and imagine them daily. Then they kinda become a part of your consciousness and you make shit happen.

My short term "professional" dream board would include:

• get an art therapist/counselor job (duh)
• take the licensure exam
• know DBT like nobody's business
• be a yoga teacher again
• refresh my Spanish skills, so I can call myself bilingual again and work with more people
• renew my membership to the local art museum and research my favorite pieces to increase art knowledge
• be able to respond to the question "What kind of artwork do you do?" with something more definite than "Everything, because I am a big art whore." In other words, I would like to feel I can do one thing well, even if I will continue to sleaze around with any medium.
• Keep writing

My long-term professional dream board would say

• work independently
• invest in a local space and make it into a wellness center including office space for holistic professional semi-hippy types like myself: expressive therapists, holistic counselors, etc. including a small yoga studio and gallery space. 

That's pretty ambitious for a struggling A.T. I think, because we're pretty ghetto with the cash, but since I need a challenge to feel alive, there it is. Bam. Out into the universe/blogosphere. I double-dog-dare you to publicly announce your dreams and see what happens. (Hmmm, that could be a blog in itself I think.)

Thanks for listening. Here's some art from the inside back cover of my journal... the folder will enclose a sort of dream board.

Blast from the Past

This weekend has been a real pleasure, non-stop festival of joy and I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible, because I tasked myself with organizing old images and stuff on my memory card. I found some scans of work from last year that I am going to post rather than think very hard or write about what's on my mind now. I also worked two overnight shifts in a row. I'm not feeling particularly bright at the moment. I'm just trying to stay awake long enough to go to bed at a reasonable hour at this point.

So here are my old sketchbook sketches based on theories readings.

Beginnings 

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Csíkszentmihályi)

Waiting 

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Winnicott)

Existential Countdown 

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Rollo May)

Hungry 

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Winnicott)

Jarvis Experiences a Sense of Grounding in Pilates Class 

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Freud)

Jungian Twins II  

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Jung)

Uptake

Watercolor Pencil, 2009

(Reading Neuropsych)

For my integrative final for my theories course I decided to create a sculpture based on what was going on in my head during the semester that looked like this.

And this part really does make me happy, no sarcasm this time... I got someone to agree to let me cast her face! Rhahhh ha ha ha!!!

WARNING!!! This is an example of a very terrible art therapy directive! You probably should not do this to anyone's face while in art therapist mode EVER, because panic attacks and ingestion of toxic purple slimy chemicals may ensue. My model was fully at peace, however, as you can see here.

It resulted in this...

So I had this realization...

I recently read Pat B. Allen's Art Is A Way of Knowing for class and to my burned-out-on-school surprise, I read the whole thing in one sitting and felt pretty stoked about the experience.

I've been thinking a lot about what art in/as therapy means to me, as previously mentioned and I realized somehow while reading this (although I'm not quite sure where, when or how that light bulb turned on) that my best art therapy happens when I am not in the role of art therapist and this image popped into my head...

On one side we have the totally exposed art therapist and I wrote down some of the ways I use A.T. in my personal life (blurred out for the web masses) and then I have someone in a burqa to represent not a statement about womanhood but how I have gone about doing art therapy thus far, along with a randomly found quote from one of my group A.T. directive books.

This started sorta coming to me after I made this image.


I was thinking about what I want to give people when being in the role of art therapist. This is an image that just spontaneously came to mind as well and I couldn't figure out what the "magic" is at the time.

I'm thinking now that the magic is what art therapy does for me which isn't something I share when on the job. I have been the veiled woman, the blank slate if you will. Of course, being the completely exposed naked woman isn't quite good therapy either. However, when I am that bare off-the-clock self, that's when my creativity has been most contagious and people I know have been inspired to do their own things, taking some of my energy home. So what I need to find in myself is that place in the middle.

I think I already know that place in the middle. The paper under the nude is a folded up copy of a letter from someone I worked with, but not in a therapeutic role. It's about how talking to me about art inspires him to make some. This wasn't someone I poured my guts out to about personal work (I doubt he even knew my last name), but I did share some of my excitement and ways I work. That's exactly what I'm looking for in my professional identity.

I'm working on directives to give people a glimpse of that, rather than pull directives out of my education, and have gotten off the fence about showing some of my more personal work here. Stay tuned.

Rhahhhh!!!!

I had today off and spent it holiday shopping of which I am not so much a fan. No time for art, but it is time to go to bed. This all makes me very cranky.

Coincidentally, this is my latest spread in my journal.


I was thinking about a couple of things when I sketched this. The first being how rich and awesome my internship site is and the second how saturated I am with being a student. Learning feels like it takes time away from learning at this point. (If you've ever been about done with grad school, that last sentence might just make some sense to you.) I felt like this image in a yay-I-have-so-much-cool-stuff-going-on way on Tuesday. Today I feel like this in a damn-it-I'm-stuck-standing-here-catching-some-blue-liquid-and-not-doing-what-I-want way.

I wanted to make more postcards. My lesson for today is that not getting my usual scheduled art time makes me feel like shaking my fists toward the heavens and screaming a slew of cuss words.

Art Journal

One consistent assignment throughout several classes in my soon-to-be-finished (whoop! whoop!) graduate program has been the art journal in which we are asked to visually respond to readings and things going on at our internship. I have kept both written and visual journals for years, before I even started the art therapy program, but I have only recently felt inspired about the one I keep for school.

Allow me to introduce you...

This is my art journal.
It is made from a brown cardboard moleskin sketchbook. The outside is based on one of my untested A.T. theories (feel free to explore this for a thesis of your own. Idea theft is encouraged at The Art Therapy Rookie). My theory goes like this: people are more likely to feel a benefit to art-making when they feel competent and like what they made. I could be way off on that, but it's my experience people at least seem to like art therapy more when they learn something new and create something they appreciate. Maybe it's just a good way to get people committed to the work and the hard stuff can come later. I don't really know and I'm getting off track. Anyway, going with that idea, I decorated the cover with paper mosaic, because it requires not a lot of skill, can be adjusted for all ages and can create clean and structured patterns or images. Also, while doing it I discovered the repetition is meditative. For how-to information check out Perfect Paper Mosaics by Susan Seymour. There are several books on paper mosaic, but this one is the best I've seen. Her website is here. A super simple wikihow paper mosaic description is here.

Inside my art journal, I explore whatever is going on in my head, readings and internship site. The latest example is here.

Technically, I tend to use a lot of watercolor, but along the making-art-feel-more-accessible stuff I'm exploring, sometimes I use stamps or other techniques I discover at my local Michaels or Joann Fabric and Craft stores. With this spread I tried flocking for the first time, although it's hard to tell in this scan. Next week my goal is to try sewing stuff in here, since I've had so much fun sewing postcards for the postcard exchange. After I am done with exploring whatever visually, I try to take some time to put some words to the thoughts, which often comes down to writing on top of my work. This spread is about me trying to figure out the role art plays in therapy. I've been chasing that question around my head a lot lately.

In summary, art journals are a good time, allow a space to process stuff as well as try out techniques on self before introducing to others. Get one. Make one. You'll be glad you did.