Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Now That I am Graduated...

... it's time to reassess what the heck I am doing with my life. It's in these transitory moments that we may find ourselves saying to ourselves, "What's the plan Stan?"

Of course, the job search is beginning and I know exactly where I want to work and with whom, but whether or not that will happen isn't entirely in my hands. I'm choosing to pursue it full force anyway and investigate other options while waiting.

But there is more to graduating than finding a job I think. I'm also changing a way of life. I just got my spare time handed back to me along with that graduation leather-bound certificate that says, "your degree is in the mail sucker." It's like I got a new life back or a change in identity. It's weird. I'm inspired and confused by all this new time on my hands. So, first I checked my old resolution post and realized I'm missing a few things on the list that I will get to. No problem; that's easy, ready-made. The harder task is I need to replace my big-picture goal now that the degree thing is off the list. I have that degree. I will have that job, but I am not content without my eye on a distant prize. I'm not one to go for the hocus pocus, but in that single sense, I am a true Sagittarius, always aiming someplace. I have a hard time walking around without an arrow pointed.

One of the recent yoga class explorations has been "the false self." People define themselves by what they do, who they love, what they own, what others think of them... etc. but the true self is tat tvam asi. As a westerner, I have a hard time with just this, so I'm going with I am what I dream. I am where I point my arrow. Philosophically, I know that can get me into trouble, but watch how much I care... as in not at all.

This post is boring and self-centered, probably better for my private journal, but I'm posting it anyway for two reasons. The first is that I am more organized with my thoughts if someone else reads them and the second is that putting it out there makes me more responsible for my ambition. My brother was recently talking to me about keeping a dream board, which sounds like a The Secret sort of thing, which I think is pretty lame, but the dream board is a little bit genius.

It works like this, you write down your dreams where you can see and imagine them daily. Then they kinda become a part of your consciousness and you make shit happen.

My short term "professional" dream board would include:
  • get an art therapist/counselor job (duh)
  • take the licensure exam
  • know DBT like nobody's business
  • be a yoga teacher again
  • refresh my Spanish skills, so I can call myself bilingual again and work with more people
  • renew my membership to the local art museum and research my favorite pieces to increase art knowledge
  • be able to respond to the question "What kind of artwork do you do?" with something more definite than "Everything, because I am a big art whore." In other words, I would like to feel I can do one thing well, even if I will continue to sleaze around with any medium.
  • Keep writing
My long-term professional dream board would say
  • work independently
  • invest in a local space and make it into a wellness center including office space for holistic professional semi-hippy types like myself: expressive therapists, holistic counselors, etc. including a small yoga studio and gallery space. 
That's pretty ambitious for a struggling A.T. I think, because we're pretty ghetto with the cash, but since I need a challenge to feel alive, there it is. Bam. Out into the universe/blogosphere. I double-dog-dare you to publicly announce your dreams and see what happens. (Hmmm, that could be a blog in itself I think.)

Thanks for listening. Here's some art from the inside back cover of my journal... the folder will enclose a sort of dream board.

Fiction Project Page Fourteen